


The Burden of Joy

by haphephobiaisfun



Category: Acquisitions Inc., C Team, Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Dungeons & Dragons - All Media Types, The "C" Team
Genre: Gen, Internal Conflict, personality changes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 21:07:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14839181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haphephobiaisfun/pseuds/haphephobiaisfun
Summary: K'thriss is seized by an internal struggle. Everyone finds the changes in his personality endearing, except for Walnut.





	The Burden of Joy

He was dying. What a relief, he thought to himself.

 

K'thriss Drow'b was not a man afraid to die. When one has lived as long as K'thriss has, life can become more chore than delight. Losing his eyes? A mild inconvience. Fighting his mother in Guallidurth? A meaningless task. If not for his place with Acquisitions Incorporated and his thirst for a knowledge beyond what this paltry existance had to offer, K'thriss believed his life would be little more than a laborous endeavor for the warlock.

Recently, there had been a new sensation in his form. It began innocently enough, with a gift no less. Omin Dran had sent the party two gold rings he somehow obtained when resurrecting a paladin. These rings would allow their wearers to gain a boon of extra durability. One of these was given to K'thriss. Looking down at the ring, K'thriss considered its composition: simple, delicate, gold. The ring looked a bit out of place against his rough blue skin, but he wore it just the same. He doubted nothing of Omin Dran, trusting him completely, although he had always had a feeling that they had more of a past than K'thriss can recall. Another mystery for another day, K'thriss decided.

Slowly, he began to feel an alteration in his spirit of sorts. The morning became more managable. The sunlight felt less harsh, although he never forgot to wear his bonnet to protect his drow skin. K'thriss felt more of a pull to be social with others rather than be alone in his studies. In conversations, he found himself occasionally interjecting genuine optimism. He even found himself encouraging others in ways they responded positively to. Some individuals who once regarded K'thriss as little more than a freak-show now began to actively seek out his advice and counsel.

Patrons at the Dran & Courtier had begun to comment on this to the rest of the party.

"He is doing really well, isn't he?"

"What a change!"

"You all must be relieved to not be with a weirdo all the time."

Donaar, being fairly self-absorbed and still viewing K'thriss as his closest weird friend (or fan, depending on Donaar's outlook that day), waived off their chatter. Rosie regarded it with some amusement, but figured it was just a phase as she had seen in many of her own children. Walnut, on the other hand, was deeply concerned. She approached him after she heard him cheering up a crying drunk at the bar at the Dran & Courtier.

"K'thriss," she said. "Can I ask you a direct question?"

His brow was suddenly knitted with concern. "Of course, friend! Is everything alright with you? Do you require my assistance with something?"

"No, uh, I am fine. Are you okay?"

He looked at her confused for a moment, then whispered his reply. "I do not think so."

 

A few moments later, they secured a place on the roof to talk in private. If this was going to lead to talking about feelings, Walnut didn't want an audience. They overlooked the stable where Coriander was bedded down for the evening. In the cool of the evening air, they sat quietly for some time as Walnut tried to let K'thriss break the ice. "Do you ever envy Coriander? A simple life absorbing coins and providing transportation, book-ended by periods of lost consciousness?" K'thriss motioned toward the stable with the staffed Ligotti as he turned to Walnut. "Is a simple existence the best existence?"

"Drow, what is going on in that head of yours? You have been nearly pleasant to be around for days now. The guests are confused, and I am a little freaked out by your behavior."

"Friend," he said, dropping his head, "there is something inside me that is taking over, and I am helpless to resist it." 

Walnut leaned in. "What are you talking about?" 

He leaned back and looked at the dark sky. Stars were just beginning to peak out as the sunlight made its daily retreat. "I wake each morning, full of a sensation that I have observed in others. In those people, I have seen it bring a sense of belonging, purpose, and satisfaction. However, in myself, this feeling only serves to cloud my mind and force me to spend energy on tasks outside of my usual studies and responsibilities to myself."

K'thriss looked into Walnut's eyes. "Most of the people I have conversed with refer to this as 'joy'."

Walnut was taken aback. "Joy?" He nodded. Walnut shifted uncomfortably. "You're suddenly happy? I don't understand. Wouldn't that mean that the other stuff you spent time on wasn't what you should have spent time on. If it wasn't making you happy, I mean. I do think it is weird, but if becoming a counselor to the bar patrons is making you ..."

"No, Walnut, you do not understand. There is a war within me. I cannot interact with the Ur because I feel driven to enjoy the weather outside. I cannot enter my father's study without being compelled to do something else, anything else, instead. Worst of all, my very being feels forced to..." He stopped, the look on his face draped in disgust and fear.

"What? Go on."

K'thriss turned a shade of pale. "This sensation compels me to worship another god. Not the great one I seek, but a lesser one. A sun god, one that celebrates life."

Walnut tried not to smile. "Lathander?"

"Shhh... please do not say his name. I almost praised him the other night in a moment of pure elation while assisting one of the patrons. Can you imagine the shame I felt?"

While Walnut found it somewhat amusing that K'thriss was absolutely wrecked by his newly found joyous condition, she knew he was sincere in his pain and grief. They sat quietly next to each other for a moments, their silence punctuated by chatter from people on the street below. Finally, Walnut decided to say the only thing that she knew would offer K'thriss any comfort.

"Well, Drow, I think this is it. I think you might be dying."

He perked up. "Do you think so? Why is that?"

"Lots of people feel a sense of ease and joy when they approach the end of their physical days. The end of this boring life and start of a new adventure. You said it yourself, all this..." She motioned wildly to the sky and to the both of them. "All of this is kind of awful. Life sucks sometimes."

K'thriss felt an immense comfort in her words. He nodded excitedly, "Yes. Yes! Thank you!" He grabbed Walnut by the shoulder. "Thank you for making me realize that this process is just a part of my final departure. I see now that I must suffer before the release of my consciousness from this physical form. I was so blinded by these sensations that I could not see it, but you are a wise friend!"

Walnut also found relief. "So, maybe you can manage to not be so cheerful now? We like our hoardsperson just the way he was."

"I will endeavor to fight this battle with a new zeal. I look forward to the final days." K'thriss smiled before whispering, "Between you and I, I was beginning to blame Omin for this."

"Why Omin?"

"Well, this struggle began shortly after he sent these rings. I thought maybe he had enchanted them with some spell because he was unsatisfied with some aspect of my being," K'thriss explained sheepishly. "I feel so foolish now."

Walnut smiled, putting her hand on his shoulder in return. "Well, my ring hasn't made me a ball of sunshine, so it looks like you are definitely dying."

K'thriss nodded, his eyes brimmed with tears. "Yes, I am." He took a last glance at the sky, and then back at Walnut and smiled.

"Isn't it wonderful?"


End file.
